A Homesickness Haiku

It sneaks up on you.

Homesickness jumps out, slugs you.

It really sneaks up.

I can’t shut up

So I’m in this class.  Small class.  Young professor.  She’s really nice, but she throws these really easy questions out there just to try and get some discussion going.

Like, really easy.

Only the problem is, you almost feel embarrassed answering a question that simple.  Like telling a dog to sit.  There’s no reason for it to sit, you both know that he knows how to sit.  Why sit?  Just to be doing something, maybe.  Maybe to show who’s the boss?

So the class, pretty much, refuses to sit.   We want content and tough stuff, not underhand pitches.  But then it gets worse.  Since nobody is talking, I think she thinks the questions were too hard.  So she makes them easier.  See where this is going?

So I don’t want to answer the questions either, but I’m really pulling for her.  She’s working hard up there.  I try encouraging nods, or understanding nods.  Nods of all varieties.  But they don’t seem to work.  So then I do the worst thing ever and answer the dumb question.

Good dog.

And of course it makes it worse.  I am enabling a process that I hope will end, but I am not allowing it to end, because I’m pulling for her.  (Parents:  take note.)  And then all of a sudden I realize that I am that guy, the jerk in class who answers all the questions and dominates.  Because later when I actually have something to contribute, I’ve already used my quota of talking out loud in class for the day.  One more puts me over the line into obnoxious territory.

Why can’t I just shut up sometimes, and realize that not doing something is the best thing to do?