so I’m walking the library yesterday, and you know how when it’s really quiet you can hear the stuff around you that you don’t really ever notice but it’s always there?
So as I am walking, every time I put my right foot down, I hear this squeak. Like the squeak of a squeaky wheel every time it comes around, on a grocery store cart or one of those A/V carts in high school that hauled around those TV/VCR sets and had the curled up extension cord around it.
Squeak. Squeak. Quiet enough that I never heard it outside of the library.
I thought it was in my shoe, so I tried putting my foot down toe-first.
Squeak. Then I tried stepping on the side of my foot. Outside and then inside.
Squeak. Squeak. I could not make it stop except by standing still. But every time I started walking I squeaked again.
It wasn’t in my right shoe, or my left shoe (which can often happen, if your left shoe makes a noise when it is lifted up from the ground at the same time as the right one hits the ground, and you’ll spend all day looking at the right shoe when it’s the noisy decompression of the left one that is giving you fits).
I finally realized that it had to be in my pants.
So that’s when I realized I was probably a cyborg. And let me tell you humans, that is one of the more irritating things to learn about yourself. I’ve got enough things to worry about in my life without the added stress of being robotic. Whoever my designer is out there, how about a little heads up next time? Or at least a laser cannon in my left arm, which otherwise I rarely put to good use.
