Personal Logo

I have been thinking of making a personal logo.  In a world of over 6 billion people how else could I possibly stand out without, for example, having one foot that is much bigger than the other, or being an X-man (both of which come with some unpleasant side effects like having to pay double for your shoes and being Storm)?

Fortunately for me the people at wikiHow have created a guide for making a personal logo, and we know that they know what they’re talking about because all of the editors on their site have an internet connection.  After all, 23,230 people have read this article, and when was the last time that many people have been wrong about anything?

wikiHow has 9 steps to making one, so let’s get started.  Just remember, do your best and forget the rest.  The tip of the day is to breathe.  (Don’t forget the tip or you’ll die.)

1.        Define the reason you need a personal logo. Insecurity. Check.  Next step.

2.       Consider what products you intend to manufacture.  Mostly, happiness.  But I might also diversity into charisma or modular furniture.

3.       Use compliments to your advantage. This is a good idea, and I intend to do that at every opportunity.  After all, I wouldn’t have been voted “best all around” in high school if I didn’t!

4.       Choose a name that everyone likes. Nice one.  This has made me reconsider names like “Republican Exclusivist Deep Water Oil Drilling Equipment” and “Radical Islam for Everyone”.  As far as I know, there is only one thing that absolutely everyone likes, and it’s “Not Drowning.”

5.       Draw sketches.  Due to my technical computer skills limitations, I cannot share in real time all of the sketches I am now drawing.  In order to gain this ability I would have to walk through the related wikiHow post, “How to be Amazing,” which includes this picture (I am not lying):

6.       Be sure that the name will be appropriate in all situations. Wow, this more demanding than I thought.  OK, I have had to execute what is called a “revision” in the marketing biz, adding the tagline “unless you want to.”

7.       Keep it Simple. In the (ironically) somewhat complicated expansion on this advice, the wikiBigs note that it needs to be easy to scale up and down, and that too many colors can be expensive to print.  I have therefore removed the Hypercolor© great white shark.

8.       Test it out. This being a logo just for me, the testing phase went extremely well, and I replied positively almost 100% of the times I showed it to myself.

9.       Print it. Here, then, is my new personal logo:

Eat your heart out, Storm.

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